Dirty Jokes in English

An American tourist goes on a trip to
China . While in China , he is very
sexually promiscuous and does not use
a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the
States, he wakes one morning to find
his "tool" covered with bright green
and purple freckles. Horrified, he
immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen

anything like it, orders some tests and
tells the man to return in two days. The
man returns a couple of days and the
doctor says "I've got bad news for you.
You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's
very rare and almost unheard of here.
We know very little about it".
The man looks a little perplexed and
says "Well, give me a shot or something
and fix me up doc". The doctor answers
"I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're
going to have to amputate your "tool".
The man screams in horror "Absolutely
not! I want a second opinion".
The doctor replies "Well, it's your
choice. Go ahead if you want but
surgery is your only choice".
The next day, the man seeks out a
Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know
more about the disease. The Chinese
doctor examines his tool and proclaims
"Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very large
disease".
The guy says to the doctor "Yeah yeah,
I already know that but what we can
do? My American doctor wants to
operate and amputate my tool?"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head
and laughs "Stupid American doctors,
always want to operate. They make
more money that way. No need to
operate!"
"Oh Thank God!" the man replies. "Yes"
says the Chinese doctor "You no worry!
Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself!
You save money"